This sucks!

If there is one thing I tend to hate about myself, it's this: I get too attached to things.  For example - when mom traded in Dad's Lexus for another car, I stood in our den, arms wrapped around Travis, and cried bc that was the last place my Dad was alive (he rode in the passenger seat to the ER).  It was my Daddy's car, and I felt like getting rid of it was getting rid of Dad, as well.

I think I should start the main part of the post with Tuesday night.  We had a nasty storm blow through at around 10:15-10:30pm on Tuesday.  The wind was terrible and it broke a tree off at the top in our neighbor's yard, falling in front of their front door.  I was in a room of the house that faces to same direction as our neighbor's house, and fearing that a tree or branch could come flying at the window, I gathered up some of my things and began to go to the basement.  I got down to the main floor of the house, and heard another loud crack and CRASH coming from outside the kitchen windows... Travis went in there to see what happened and all I could hear from him was, "HOLY SH*T!!!"  I ran into the kitchen and saw a tree where our cars usually sit.... a big tree had fallen and crushed my car and buckled in the sunroof of mom's new-ish car!  (I have pictures up on Facebook if you want to see them!)

Obviously, there was nothing we could do at that point bc the storm was still going full-force!  Well, yesterday (Wednesday), I discovered something about the people in my life - Catherine (the lady I Nanny for) needs me, so she took the time to come pick me up for work (which made me feel good).  My dear friend, Emily, who works from 7:00am til 3:00pm, came to pick me up from work, took me home, and helped me clean out my car for the tow truck (the tree was cut apart by the time I got back).  I learned that we have amazing neighbors, one of which loaned me a car until my insurance sets me up with a rental.  It's times like these that show us who our true friends are, and though most of my friends didn't know about the tree until yesterday after I got home from work, the ones who knew about it when it happened stepped up and helped.  It's a good feeling!

Here's where my over-sensitivity comes in: when I got home from work, mom told me the tow-truck guy was on his way... I realized that the one thing I cherish most was still on the dash (it was a parking pass issued to us for use at the hospital when Dad died)...I lost it.  I actually started crying.  I got in the car through the back door on the passenger side (it was the only one that worked), laid down the passenger seat, crawled into the front, and just sobbed while I cleaned everything out...  When the tow-truck arrived, you would have thought someone had died!  I was so upset!  My last two cars sucked, and if a tree had fallen on them, I would have been so happy, but this car was good to me... it was reliable.  I genuinely loved my car!  It was a great car!!!

It seems stupid, I recognize that, but I actually feel like I've experienced another death.  My car isn't sitting in the driveway anymore, and probably won't be there ever again.  My car wasn't sitting in its usual spot when I was at work today.  The key and remote on my keychain is all I have left of my car.

Anyway, I decided to look up other cars while Little Man took his nap today, but as soon as I started searching for another Hyundai, I started crying.  I saw Sonata after Sonata, which only made the tears flow more.  Mom says I might get a better car than my baby, but I don't WANT another car... I want MY car back, dammit!  Again, I know how dumb this seems, but it really affected me.  I will move on, obviously, I'm just still licking my wounds, I guess.

That's all I have to say right now, I just really really needed to get this out.

5 Weeks!

Holy cow... 5 weeks from now, I will be Mrs. Phifer!  I am so excited!!!!  A lot has happened, so I decided to post a little bit.  Let's see, where do I start...

I had my Bachelorette Party two weeks ago, thrown by my dearest Emmers!  It was a lot of fun, and I'm very lucky to have some wonderful friends!

Good news:  Trav and I got our marriage license last Friday!
Bad news:  one of my cousins, who is a bridesmaid, will not be able to come to town for my wedding!  She lives in Arkansas, and will be 28 weeks preggers by the time my wedding comes around.  She's high risk bc of her age (Under 40, over 35... I won't divulged her actual age!), and her Doc doesn't want her to travel... at all.  BOOOO!  I can't be mad, though, bc I want her to be healthy and to do what is best for her baby!  This does, however, pose a slight problem bc her 6-yr-old son was supposed to be the ring bearer, and he doesn't go ANYWHERE without his mother... so Trav's nephew will be stepping in for us.  As for a bridesmaid, my dear boss will be taking on the role.  I couldn't be happier to have her aboard, since her daughter is one of my flower girls!

Speaking of my boss, I had to take Little Man to the ER two weeks ago!  His mother was out at a business lunch (you would know that the ONE DAY something serious happen, Cath wouldn't be home!!!!!... as you know, she works from home) and I had gone to use the bathroom (which I hate doing while both kids are awake) and wasn't in there for more than a minute.  When I opened the door, I heard a thud and then Little Man started screaming.  I figured he had bumped his head again (he's beginning to walk and falls all over the place).  As I walked to where the kids were, I saw blood all over Little Man's face.... his nose, his mouth, his jammies, and the floor were covered!  Let me tell you how scared I got!  I picked him up and put him in the kitchen sink while grabbing my phone and a paper towel.  I was shaking so badly, so it took a few tries to dial his mom's cell phone, and when I called, she didn't answer.  I called a total of 7 times, too!  I finally called Travis, and he immediately began to head over.

Sunshine had run to her mother's room after having a near-panic attack, which I hated for her, but I was panicking too!  I managed to clean the blood off of Little Man's face and found where he got cut.  It was about a half-inch cut along the bridge of his nose, right between his eyes.  I couldn't get the bleeding to stop bc every time I put pressure on his head, he would shake his head side-to-side, which only aggravated it more.  I called Trav back to get advice, but then decided to dial 911 bc I had no carseat, and therefor had no way to take him to the ER myself.  Travis showed up a few seconds before the firetruck arrived.  (It had been 15 minutes since he fell, so I was working fast!)  Travis stayed with Sunshine while I rode in the ambulance with Little Man.  If it wasn't for the fact that Trav has babysat the kids with me before and was friends with my boss, I wouldn't have allowed him to stay behind... I swear, that man is the best thing that has ever happened to me!

I did finally get ahold of Cath, and she was grateful that I had been able to think on my feet, although I was still freaking out on the inside!  Anyway, Little Man had to get 3 stitches, and they came out last Sunday.  He's doing so well, and was such a trooper when the Doc had to stitch him up.  Turns out, he had slipped on the wood floor and cut himself on the corner of the toy chest, poor guy!  That was one experience I NEVER want to have again!!!!!

I think I have more to say, but I'm about to fall asleep.  I'll post more later, I promise!!!