grrr

I backslid yesterday. I've been so angry and frustrated and irritable lately! It boiled over and I had a cigarette. So I'm back to Day 1 of my quit. *quitting smoking, take 2!*

Maybe now I can figure out what triggered my urge to smoke and avoid it next time!

More pics

Wow... Trav's hand is lookin ROUGH! Here are some more pics (these are for you, Sue!)

This is from Saturday afternoon at 3:45pm EST:


Sunday at around 12:30pm EST (he had hydrogen peroxide on it, that's why the bubbles are there):


Sunday at 1:15pm EST:


Monday at 2:30pm EST (hydrogen peroxide, again):


Tuesday at 9:45pm EST:



Travis isn't feeling well either. He tried to go to work, yesterday (Aug 31), and he made it for a few hours. Luckily they finished whatever it was they were working on, so he was able to come home around 3-ish, but he went to sleep as soon as he got here, poor thing.

I feel so bad for my sweetie! I'm riding his butt to take his antibiotics properly. I have to set my alarm on my cell phone to help get him some food and his meds. And yes, he is very appreciative (sp) of me. I make him a sandwich, or something, before bed, so he'll have food when he wakes up to take his med... if you haven't guessed, he needs to have food in his stomach first.


I survived today! It was Daddy's birthday, but I managed to make it all day with no tears! YAY ME! Mom struggled, though. :( and it's not helping that Nonnie isn't even trying to get better. She's not doing a damn thing in the nursing home to help rehabilitate herself! Why she does this to herself, and us, is beyond me... UGH! SO FRUSTRATING!


My quit stats:

17 days, 11 hours, 23 minutes and 22 seconds smoke free.
262 cigarettes not smoked.
$63.75 and 2 days of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM


This is really hard, and I have moments when I REALLY want a smoke, but I've worked too hard to get to day 18, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that go!

Today

Today is Daddy's birthday. He would have been 62. I miss him so much :(


Nothing like playing with a bunch of 2 and 3 years olds to make me giggle, though! Off to work, I go! :) heehee I LOVE MUNCHKINS!

Trav's Hand

Here are some pics of Trav's hand. On Wednesday, his hand was swollen to at least twice its size, now it's just a bigass blister! He compared his hand to a surgical glove that has been blown into once (I even got a picture of his hand beside a slightly inflated glove!)

This pic was taken in the waiting room of the urgent care center on Wednesday:



This is his hand beside a blown surgical glove, we were in the exam room (wednesday) and got bored:



This was his hand, yesterday, when we went back to the urgent care center for a follow up:



This is a pic of his hand that I took about 10 mins ago:





We decided that he was bitten by a spider. One of his buddies thinks he was bit by a black widow, but I disagree bc he would have been a lot sicker, in my opinion. What do ya'll think?

Dammit Man!

JUST ASK ME TO MARRY YOU ALREADY! OMG he's driving me crazy! He talks about it, makes references about it to strangers (i.e., the nurse at the Urgent Care Center), and he even called me "wife" at one point... he's saying things all the time, so frickin ASK ME ALREADY! *sheesh*


my quit stats:

13 days, 10 hours, 10 minutes and 56 seconds smoke free.
201 cigarettes not smoked.
$48.75 and 1 day, 12 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM




Trav's friends think he was bitten by a black widow, but he would have gotten a lot sicker had he been. His hand and arm are no longer swollen, so that's good, but the spot where he was bitten has turned into a black/blue/purple blister... it's weird lookin!!! I'm just glad he's ok now!

I'm in pain!

I'm so sore after the Trainer came over, yesterday... not good for my first day at my internship! Oh well haha

My Quit Stats:

10 days, 9 hours, 8 minutes and 30 seconds smoke free.
156 cigarettes not smoked.
$37.50 and 1 day, 4 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM


The days go by so SLOWLY!!!

Hell week is almost over!

The first week of quitting smoking is called Hell Week... at 11:20am EST, tomorrow, Hell Week will be over!!!

6 days, 4 hours, 20 minutes and 56 seconds smoke free.
93 cigarettes not smoked.
$22.50 and 17 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM


Everytime I want a smoke, I make myself cough so I remember why I'm quitting... I hate this damn smoker's cough, and in a few months, it will go away... I just have to keep my quit! WOOHOO!

Travis is CRAY-ZAY!

I dunno WHAT he was thinking when he asked me to cut his hair... I did my best, but his hair is just so CURLY that I messed it up... Mom can't stop laughing at it! I'll try to get a picture of him posted, but let me just say that I am NEVER going into the hair business!


As of 10:20PM EST, my quit stats are:

5 days, 11 hours smoke free.
82 cigarettes not smoked.
$18.75 and 15 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM



I'm feeling more anxious, but I'm going strong!

Three full days!

Three days of no smoking! WOOHOO! GO ME! Travis has stopped smoking when he's around me. I think he actually wants to quit, but the difference is that he dips, so he still gets his fix! Mom has slowed down a bit, as well. I guess it took one of us quitting to get the other two to slow down... and again... GO ME! haha

We got Nonnie settled into the nursing home. She isn't happy, but hasn't put up any kind of fight, which is great!

I've been baking today! I'm getting better in the kitchen, not burning as much :)

I have some more work to do, so I'm off!

Moving on out!

We're moving Nonnie to the nursing home today... wish us luck!

Over 24 hours... feeling good!

My Quit Stats:

1 day, 1 hour, 21 minutes and 34 seconds smoke free.
16 cigarettes not smoked.
$3.75 and 2 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM

Woohoo! I have been using www.quitnet.com to help with support of my quit. Mom and Travis have started smoking outside and Trav won't even tell me when he goes out! Thank goodness for my nicotine patch, it's a big help!


Yesterday was my aunt Glenda's birthday party (Daddy's older sister who is in a nursing home) and it was quiet, but fun. She was excited to see me :) I love my Glenda!


In other news, THE ATLANTIC HAS BOOMED! Three Tropical systems now! Tropical Storms Ana, Bill, and now Claudette are in play. Claudette will be making landfall sometime tonight along the Florida Panhandle, so any of my readers who live in that area need to be ready for possible flooding, as this baby has a LOT of rain coming!

That's all for now... I wanted to show off my quit stats :)

Here I go!!!

I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna quit smoking (again). I have the nicotine patch on now. My last cigarette was one hour ago. I've quit before, 5 years ago, and started back up when I started dating Travis (he smokes, so I would go out and have one with him... on my own accord, he did NOT get me smoking again). I'm excited and nervous at the same time... The anxiety is getting to me, which is my big problem. I take Wellbutrin to help with it, and it also is prescribed to some people as a quitting-smoking aid, that, with the patch, should ease my cravings.

I cough up a lung every night when I try to go to sleep. I have begun to prop myself up on 3 pillows in order to not cough. It strains my neck a bit, so the only way to quit coughing is to quit smoking. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired ot smoking.

Besides, if I want to be a mother, I have to be healthy, right?

Why I have chosen NOW to quit is a mystery. With Dad's death and Nonnie's illness, stress in my house is through the roof... but like I said, I'm tired of smoking and coughing... so here goes everything, and here goes nothing!




We found a place for Nonnie. She'll be out of the hospital on Monday, hopefully.

That's all for now! :)

Lost her DAMN MIND!

Nonnie has lost it... that's all there is to it. We got her home, and not even 3 hours later NONNIE called 911 bc she thought she was choking... she's in the hospital again. Mom is exhausted and is having flashbacks from when we took Dad in. I'm struggling. I keep fighting back tears bc this is reminding me of my dad. I miss him so much and I can't help but wonder how he would handle this... I just want my Daddy...

I officially love Bob Saget

I'm watching the Comedy Central premire of a Bob Saget stand up performance (I think he did it a few years ago, cause I remember seeing it a while back), and omg I'm laughing like mad! I forgot just how twisted that man is!!! Some of you may think less of me for this, but I don't care! haha


In other news, Mom and Trav are meeting my uncle in Nashville tomorrow to bring Nonnie home! They will all be back on Sunday. I'm hanging at home to take care of my animals (T's mom was gonna do it, but she was gonna leave Willie outside all weekend and I couldn't do that to him!) Mama is worried about how Nonnie will behave when she's here, but we will have to see what happens.

Goodnight all! :)

Nonnie went off again

She's gone off the deep end. We got calls from the nurses, last night, about Nonnie. She has been confined to her bed bc of another skin tear... this one is on her leg... and she lost her damn mind, again. As far as I know, she thought they had restrained her, which they hadn't, and she began to yell for her mother... just like she did when she was in the hospital the second time. I don't think last night was nearly as bad as the hospital incident, but it did bring back those horrible memories. I remember holding her down while she screamed at the top of her lungs... I remember her calling me a bitch and a slut, along with my mom, as well as other choice words.

Not even two days before we are trying to get her home, she loses it. We aren't going to stop the attempt to get her back, though. I think mom has decided to take her to a psych ward to have her evaluated. We may have no choice but to put her in a facility here. Mom and I just can't take care of her like this... and yeah, we have Travis, but he has his own life to get back to (which I think will involve me and him taking a certain plunge... I only say this bc he keeps talking about me as his "wife"... man that would be awesome!)

Ok, I have a lot to do today, to get ready for the return of my grandmother... time to get to it!

Overdue Rant

HOW STUPID ARE YOU??? To get mad at me over something so INSIGNIFICANT?!?! I have let it roll off my back for a couple of months, but for some reason, it's only caused me a bit of internal anger and I have to let it out somehow... so here it is... YOU ARE GOING TO BE VERY LONELY IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR TEMPER IN CHECK... you have lost many friends bc of overreactions, and I wouldn't be surprised if you die a lonely death. Go on and be mad at me for this, I could care less, since you don't talk to me anymore, anyway. Good riddance... my life has much less drama now, and I am SO MUCH HAPPIER without you holding me down.




wow... that felt really good :) I still have more to say, but I think that helped me some :) Oh, and no one knows who this is to or what this is about, so don't even try to figure it out...

Nonnie may be home

Nonnie may get to come home as early as Saturday! I'm really happy about it, but also worried, bc I just hope mom and I can care for her. I mean, Travis already said he'd stay here another week or so to help us, but I'm still concerned.

Mom is gonna check on esavers tomorrow to see if we can fly Nonnie and my uncle out here... if not, we'll do the drop off/pick up in Nashville.

THE RASCAL FLATTS CONCERT WAS AMAZING!!! I had FOURTH ROW CENTER seats!!! I was SO FREAKING CLOSE!!!!! I'll post pictures as soon as I get them loaded... I was so close that I almost caught one of Joe Don's GUITAR PICKS! It bounced off the guy in front of me, and I couldn't find it after that :(

It was just SO COOL!!!!! Travis and I didn't know where the seats would be. I ordered them through the RF fan club, and had to pick them up at will call, and when I saw what section we were, I didn't think much of it... but when we went in, it had arrows directing people to go either way for my section! Then we got to our section, and our row was way down front... DEAD FRIGGIN CENTER!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! Travis even admitted to having fun :)

I'm telling myself this was the last show for me, but we'll see how I react when tickets go on sale for the next concert haha...