How did this happen???

I was talking to a friend, earlier this morning, and I realized something:  I have found joy in my life.  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???  Eight months ago, I was burying my Dad.  Eight months ago, I was trying to wrap my head around living a life without the "s" in "parents."  I was numb.  I was devestated.  My life turned upside-down.  I honestly didn't know how I would ever get through it...

I'm going to see if I can figure this out...  I think it has to do with a promise I made to Daddy, hours before he actually died.  I told him I would finish school and make him proud.  Well, I'm pretty sure he's proud of me now.  I'm getting out and finding a job, singing again, and I've grown as a person.  I am taking on more responsabilities at home, as well as an interest in my own finances.  I WANT to learn how to become financially independant.  I relied on Dad to pay my bills all my life (and yeah, I'm embarrassed to say that it took me 26 years to get to this point), but I want to make life a little easier on mom, plus, well, I need to learn!

I mean, the last eight months were a total rollercoaster.  I grieved like crazy in the months after his death, and I had friends to help get me through it.  I also had the fortune of being loved by the kindest most wonderful man ever!  Travis has been my rock.  He's helped me redifine my self confidence, and my heart has never been fuller.

Yeah, I know I have two nice-sized holes in my heart, one for Daddy and one for Nonnie, but the rest of it is bursting.

Maybe it was singing.  I definately think the singing has a huge role in this overwhelming positivity that I'm feeling.  When I talk about it to anyone, I get a large smile on my face, my heart flutters, and an energy surges through me :)  Well, it isn't just the singing that gets me animated (thanks a lot "esurance" commercials), it's everything about the church that makes me happy.  I can walk in the doors and immediately see people I know.  On occasion, I get tackled by munchkins, which has the power to turn a bad day around!  Most of the families I babysit for are from my church...


So I figured out what has brought joy into my life...  My boyfriend, my mom, my friends, singing, my church family, and children

Ok, church is what has made me happy again.  I guess I know how it happened :)