Moving on out!

We're moving Nonnie to the nursing home today... wish us luck!

Over 24 hours... feeling good!

My Quit Stats:

1 day, 1 hour, 21 minutes and 34 seconds smoke free.
16 cigarettes not smoked.
$3.75 and 2 hours of your life saved.
Your quit date: 8/15/2009 11:20:00 AM

Woohoo! I have been using www.quitnet.com to help with support of my quit. Mom and Travis have started smoking outside and Trav won't even tell me when he goes out! Thank goodness for my nicotine patch, it's a big help!


Yesterday was my aunt Glenda's birthday party (Daddy's older sister who is in a nursing home) and it was quiet, but fun. She was excited to see me :) I love my Glenda!


In other news, THE ATLANTIC HAS BOOMED! Three Tropical systems now! Tropical Storms Ana, Bill, and now Claudette are in play. Claudette will be making landfall sometime tonight along the Florida Panhandle, so any of my readers who live in that area need to be ready for possible flooding, as this baby has a LOT of rain coming!

That's all for now... I wanted to show off my quit stats :)

Here I go!!!

I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna quit smoking (again). I have the nicotine patch on now. My last cigarette was one hour ago. I've quit before, 5 years ago, and started back up when I started dating Travis (he smokes, so I would go out and have one with him... on my own accord, he did NOT get me smoking again). I'm excited and nervous at the same time... The anxiety is getting to me, which is my big problem. I take Wellbutrin to help with it, and it also is prescribed to some people as a quitting-smoking aid, that, with the patch, should ease my cravings.

I cough up a lung every night when I try to go to sleep. I have begun to prop myself up on 3 pillows in order to not cough. It strains my neck a bit, so the only way to quit coughing is to quit smoking. I'm just tired of it. I'm tired ot smoking.

Besides, if I want to be a mother, I have to be healthy, right?

Why I have chosen NOW to quit is a mystery. With Dad's death and Nonnie's illness, stress in my house is through the roof... but like I said, I'm tired of smoking and coughing... so here goes everything, and here goes nothing!




We found a place for Nonnie. She'll be out of the hospital on Monday, hopefully.

That's all for now! :)

Lost her DAMN MIND!

Nonnie has lost it... that's all there is to it. We got her home, and not even 3 hours later NONNIE called 911 bc she thought she was choking... she's in the hospital again. Mom is exhausted and is having flashbacks from when we took Dad in. I'm struggling. I keep fighting back tears bc this is reminding me of my dad. I miss him so much and I can't help but wonder how he would handle this... I just want my Daddy...

I officially love Bob Saget

I'm watching the Comedy Central premire of a Bob Saget stand up performance (I think he did it a few years ago, cause I remember seeing it a while back), and omg I'm laughing like mad! I forgot just how twisted that man is!!! Some of you may think less of me for this, but I don't care! haha


In other news, Mom and Trav are meeting my uncle in Nashville tomorrow to bring Nonnie home! They will all be back on Sunday. I'm hanging at home to take care of my animals (T's mom was gonna do it, but she was gonna leave Willie outside all weekend and I couldn't do that to him!) Mama is worried about how Nonnie will behave when she's here, but we will have to see what happens.

Goodnight all! :)

Nonnie went off again

She's gone off the deep end. We got calls from the nurses, last night, about Nonnie. She has been confined to her bed bc of another skin tear... this one is on her leg... and she lost her damn mind, again. As far as I know, she thought they had restrained her, which they hadn't, and she began to yell for her mother... just like she did when she was in the hospital the second time. I don't think last night was nearly as bad as the hospital incident, but it did bring back those horrible memories. I remember holding her down while she screamed at the top of her lungs... I remember her calling me a bitch and a slut, along with my mom, as well as other choice words.

Not even two days before we are trying to get her home, she loses it. We aren't going to stop the attempt to get her back, though. I think mom has decided to take her to a psych ward to have her evaluated. We may have no choice but to put her in a facility here. Mom and I just can't take care of her like this... and yeah, we have Travis, but he has his own life to get back to (which I think will involve me and him taking a certain plunge... I only say this bc he keeps talking about me as his "wife"... man that would be awesome!)

Ok, I have a lot to do today, to get ready for the return of my grandmother... time to get to it!

Overdue Rant

HOW STUPID ARE YOU??? To get mad at me over something so INSIGNIFICANT?!?! I have let it roll off my back for a couple of months, but for some reason, it's only caused me a bit of internal anger and I have to let it out somehow... so here it is... YOU ARE GOING TO BE VERY LONELY IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR TEMPER IN CHECK... you have lost many friends bc of overreactions, and I wouldn't be surprised if you die a lonely death. Go on and be mad at me for this, I could care less, since you don't talk to me anymore, anyway. Good riddance... my life has much less drama now, and I am SO MUCH HAPPIER without you holding me down.




wow... that felt really good :) I still have more to say, but I think that helped me some :) Oh, and no one knows who this is to or what this is about, so don't even try to figure it out...

Nonnie may be home

Nonnie may get to come home as early as Saturday! I'm really happy about it, but also worried, bc I just hope mom and I can care for her. I mean, Travis already said he'd stay here another week or so to help us, but I'm still concerned.

Mom is gonna check on esavers tomorrow to see if we can fly Nonnie and my uncle out here... if not, we'll do the drop off/pick up in Nashville.

THE RASCAL FLATTS CONCERT WAS AMAZING!!! I had FOURTH ROW CENTER seats!!! I was SO FREAKING CLOSE!!!!! I'll post pictures as soon as I get them loaded... I was so close that I almost caught one of Joe Don's GUITAR PICKS! It bounced off the guy in front of me, and I couldn't find it after that :(

It was just SO COOL!!!!! Travis and I didn't know where the seats would be. I ordered them through the RF fan club, and had to pick them up at will call, and when I saw what section we were, I didn't think much of it... but when we went in, it had arrows directing people to go either way for my section! Then we got to our section, and our row was way down front... DEAD FRIGGIN CENTER!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!! Travis even admitted to having fun :)

I'm telling myself this was the last show for me, but we'll see how I react when tickets go on sale for the next concert haha...

Where I'm From

I've been trying to figure out a way to blog about this, but couldn't come up with any "codes" so that only a few people would understand... so I'm just gonna post.

The other day, mom found a letter that was sent to her in 2002. It was from her case worker, and it contained information about my birth mother. I found out that I was born at 11:35pm on November 12, and that I look like her. She has brown hair/eyes, thick-ish hair (mine is thick), and was active in choirs. She loved music and singing, just like I do. I also read a few of the health-related questions and decided I must have inhereted (sp) some of my "stuff" from her. I also read that she had a hysterectomy (sp?) a couple of years after I was born, so I am the only child she has ever had... there go my chances at maternal siblings haha

The big thing I saw was that she said she was interested in future contact with the child... meaning she would like to meet me one day! I had a very long talk with my mom about this, and we decided to begin persuing this in a couple of years. We both know now isn't the time, so hopefully things will calm down in a few years so I can meet my biological mother.

I'm so glad my mom is supportive of my desire to meet my birth mom. Mama lost her Daddy when she was 10 months old, so she understands how I feel in wanting to meet my Bmom.

I lucked out when I got this life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything... I would just like to know more about where I come from...

Love my Ladies!

I had dinner with my best girls on Monday night. We talked for over an hour and a half! It was so good to be with them again :) I mean, I see Emmers all the time, but with it being summer, Courtney is off work and travels a lot... so to have her there, as well, was awesome!

I did find out from my Emmers that our beloved Taco Bell is being rebuilt! There was a Taco Bell at this shopping center near my house that we would go to all the time, and last year, or the year before, it burned down... well IT'S BEING REBUILT! TACO RUNS WILL BE BACK IN PLAY! haha I remember many nights when we would make Taco Bell runs at midnight... ahh... I miss those simpler times lol

I got the teddy bear that is being sent around to all my butterfly girls... I actually got her last week, but never mentioned it bc I kept forgetting to haha. Now I have her in my arms, giving her a big squeeze. She came to me from another butterfly girl who lives overseas! I will give the bear a bunch of hugs and lots of love before sending her to the next lady :) I'm so happy to have her though!!!

Travis is at work today, I think he's at Clemson. Who knows! I'm so excited though... the Rascal Flatts concert is Saturday! AND MY SWEETIE IS GOING WITH ME! Yep, I'm going to a RF concert AGAIN... this is CONCERT NUMBER SIX! I'm way WAY excited!

speaking of excited, WE HAVE HAD AWESOME STORMS HERE THE LAST FEW DAYS!!! Last night was the best, though! Lots of lightning and LOUD thunber-booms! It was a severe storm that turned 7:00pm into 9:00, bc of how dark it got... yeah, Travis laughed at me heehee

Ok, that's it for now... nothing new with Nonnie, but I'll update when I know something new

OH! Keep my cousin, Bob, in your prayers.... he's having surgery today to clear out one of the vains in his neck. He was nervous about it, but I think he'll be ok.

Random Quotes

I just wanted to share a couple of quotes I really like that pertain to my life:

"Being angry at someone doesn't hurt the person you're angry at - it hurts you"
- my Daddy


"Life is partly what we make it, and partly made by the friends we choose"
- one of my butterfly girls


I am so lucky to have the friends I have. I know I don't have very many close friends, but the ones I do have love me unconditionally, and for them, I am eternally greatful.

Date Night

I love date night with my Travis! Last night we went to see Harry Potter. It was pretty good, though long. It was nice to get out of the house and get my mind off of things for a while. It's always fun to go out and do something with my man... I'm so lucky :)

I'm FINALLY having dinner with my best girls tomorrow night! (Monday night)... It's funny bc we have to actually PENCIL EACH OTHER IN just to hang out! I mean, if Courtney and Emily are in town, I'm in Arkansas... if Emmers and I are in town, Courtney isn't, and when Court and I are in town, Emily isn't... WE ARE FINALLY IN CHARLOTTE AT THE SAME TIME! haha... I just think it's really amusing...

It's looking like mom may not have to go back to Arkansas just yet. Nonnie isn't acting like the devil (and those of you who I talked to the last time I was in AR know that the "devil" she usually is was NOTHING compared to how she was last time) which is a good thing... at least the nurses at the hospital out there know Nonnie and "like" her lol

In other news, my uncle Bob is having to have major surgery this week/next. I think he has to have one of the arterys (sp) in his neck cleared out on Tuesday, and then open heart surgery the following Monday. He has 9 full blockages in his heart, so bypasses are in order. Keep him and my cousin Sue in your thoughts. This is a difficult time for them, and they can use all the prayers we can give them.

Continue to pray for Nonnie and for my mom. This is all very hard on her, and though she tells me not to worry about her, I still do.

Nonnie... again

She's back in the hospital. This is the third time in two months. And yes, she's still in Arkansas. Mom is gearing up to head back out if she has to... she doesn't want me to go this time, but I may, just to be there for her... though it's up to her.

Nonnie is having a blood transfusion, and is refusing to go back into the rehabilitation facility again. So mom and I will just have to put the fear of God in her... if she doesn't go back to The Maples, she will be put in a nursing home in Charlotte. We can NOT take care of her in this condition... so it's all up to Nonnie.

Mom and I just don't have another 1,000 mile trip in us... two trips in a month and a half is a bit much, but we'll just have to see. We're getting a lot of work done so we can be ready if the time comes.

That's my update. Keep us in your prayers.

Finally

Finally got Nonnie into the rehab center. The last week has been hell. She's still in a foul mood (worse than normal), but she isn't as bad as she was when Mom and I got here (I swear, she needed an exorcist!). I don't know if she'll ever make it back to Charlotte. She's not even trying to get better. Mom is at her wit's end, and I'm worrying about her.

We're leaving to head home tomorrow, I think, with a stop in NE Arkansas to visit some other family. We'll be home by sunday. I'll be glad when this is all over.

I miss my daddy. I just miss him so damn much. Nonnie being back in the hospital has brought back the memories of him in his final minutes... It hurts.

well, nonnie is all kinds of messed up. she cussed me out and took a swing at me about an hour after mom and I drove in. Yes, we're in arkansas again. blah.

Nonnie

The last time I posted, Mom and I were gearing up to meet my uncle in Nashville and bring Nonnie home. Well, as she and I were getting ready to leave, that Friday morning, Chuck called and told us Nonnie had been taken to the ER. As soon as we heard this, Mom and I began packing for a week or more. Travis suggested that he go with us so we could leave that evening, when he got off work, and drive through the night to get to Nonnie... and that's what we did.

We left Charlotte at about 6:30pm CST and arrived at the hospital in Fayettville (sp) at 9:30am the following morning... yes, we were exhausted.

To make a long story short, Travis got to meet my family, who all ADORED HIM! So, that wish was granted... but that's the only real good that came from the trip. When we got there, we were told that Nonnie was bleeding from somewhere, internally, and as a result of her not walking around or eating, she had the largest bruise I had ever seen down her backside. It turns out that Chuck had been staying in a different apartment than Nonnie... LEAVING HER BY HERSELF! I was livid, at first, until mom told me what Dad used to tell her: "Being angry doesn't hurt the other person, it hurts yourself" so I calmed it down to being displeased with him.

So the docs ran tests and the problem is this: Nonnie has a leaking heart valve as well as Pulminary Adema (sp??) - which means only half of her heart is pumping. The docs wanted to get her stable enough so she could make the trip back to Charlotte, but Nonnie refused to walk on the day she was to be released, so the docs kept her in the hospital.

We then decided to put her in a rehbilitation facility in Arkansas, to help her walk better, bc mom and I just can NOT handle her unless she can walk. Nonnie was mad. Mom and I think she thought we would bring her home no matter what, so she definately got a surprise when we all left to come home.

As far as I know, Nonnie is doing better. She's walking more and her balance is good. We may be able to bring her home in less than a month!

Though there are still some issues that may require her to be readmitted to the hospital, and if that happens, mom will drive out there again... and I'm thinking I may go with her. I'll be sure to keep ya'll posted though.

Ok, I'm at Trav's house helping clean his house, since he hasn't been here in forever! I'm getting back to it :)