Mama Bear... more like "Nanny Bear"

Today, I had a taste of what it's like for a mother to want to protect her child.  I took Little Man and Sunshine to the park for a little bit, though Little Man couldn't do much, except sit on the ground and look at the rubber mulch.  Sunshine, however, had a run-in with a little boy who decided it was ok to kick an almost-3-yr-old in the shin... multiple times... I was sitting on the sidewalk, Little Man was in front of me, on the ground, and Sunshine went to go on one of the slides.  I posted on facebook that I was at the park with the kids and how much I loved hearing Sunshine's laughter, though silently I was thinking about how much it would suck if Sunshine ended up getting hurt and crying.......  Well, I looked up to see her running to me, red-faced, tears streaming from her eyes!  She told me a "little guy" hurt her.  I held her for a few minutes, gave her some words of encouragement, and she ran off to the slide again.  This time, I watched her run to the slide, and saw a little boy walk up to her, no words exchanged, and kicked her in her shin... TWICE!  She started crying and running toward me again.  I lost it.  I picked up Little Man, walked right past Sunshine to the slide, where the little boy had gone up the ladder.  I made the motion with my finger for him to come down the slide, and he just sat there, so I said, "Why did you kick this little girl?  What possible reason could you have had for kicking her?"  When he didn't respond, I said, "I'm waiting..."  This kid was visibly nervous.  He looked at me and mumbled, "I don't remember."  I replied, "That's because you had no reason!  You do NOT kick other children!"  I turned around, took Sunshine's hand, and began walking to the swings.  A lady with a baby strapped to her walked by and asked if the little boy in the blue shirt hurt the girl holding my hand.  I said, "Yes, three times" (one of the times was the one I didn't see).  She went to the slide, made the boy come down, had him sit in time-out, then dragged him over to apologize to Sunshine.

For those few minutes when I was letting that little boy have it, I saw red.  How dare he mess with MY little girl (not actually MINE, but the girl I babysit for)... I could finally understand why my Dad had me kick an oversized throw pillow around our kitchen when I was a kid, bc some girl kept kicking me at the bus stop... Daddy wanted me to fight back, but I never did.

I keep getting little tastes of what it will be like to be a mom.  The only thing I haven't experienced is the overnight deal, but that will come when I have my own babies.

I just wanted to get my interesting day out.  That's all for now!

Updates

No real title for this one...

My blog looks like a hot mess at the moment because the person who custom-designed my stuff has deleted her account with photobucket, and I was too much of a doofus to save the images myself!  (Won't make that mistake again!)  So please bear with me while I get a new look for my blog!


Mom and I went to a funeral, yesterday.  It was for the mother of a dear friend of my mom's.  We realized, after the service began, that it was a bit too soon for us.  Mom got misty, which got me going as well.  NOT FUN AT ALL!  We got through it, but it was almost too much to stand.  We kept thinking about Daddy, and the pain crept in.

Ok, that's the only down part of the post!

On the wedding front: we have selected a florist!  I'm very excited about the design ideas he had for my wedding!  I'm planning on going dress shopping next weekend, which will be exciting!  So, we now have the church, reception site, and a florist booked... now for a DJ!  Travis and I really like one guy that we've read about.  He's not too expensive, and will even allow our guests to request songs, at our discretion.  Trav and I think it will be fun to let people make requests... as long as the Electric Slide isn't played.  I don't give a rat's patootie what anyone says!  NO ELECTRIC SLIDE!!!!!!!!!  Bust out the Cha Cha Slide, I don't care... just not that damn Electric Slide!  It was a song we danced to in elementary school, and I will NOT have it played at my reception!

March 3rd, Travis, mom, and I will go for a cake tasting at one of the local bakeries.  We're going to look into a few others, as well.  I'm way excited about this part of the planning, haha!  I already know I want a marble cake, but I just need to figure out the frosting....

The color scheme at the reception will be pink and baby green.  My bouquet will have tube roses, for sure, along with a couple of other lovely scented flowers.  We're even going to have a boutineer made to place at my Dad's niche, and Trav is going to make a tuxedo out of construction paper to go over Dad's plaque!  We still plan on having our pictures taken at his niche after the wedding.

The three flower girls have been selected and approved by their respective parents, and I am beyond pleased to say that the little girl I Nanny for (Sunshine) is going to be one of them!!!  :)  She is so happy! I absolutely love that girl!

Speaking of Nannying, Little Man is EVERYWHERE!!!  He pulls up and has begun to try walking while holding on to the couch of coffee table, whichever one he has his hands on.  I swear, this boy is going to be walking by 9 months!  (He's barely 7 and a half months old!)  He's so cute, and Sunshine is super sweet with him!  She loves her little brother, and tells me so every time I'm at their house!

I need to figure out what we're going to do tomorrow...  Monday's are fun because I have both kids all day... last week we went to the park...  Maybe tomorrow we can hit the library.  If I had the money I would take them to Discovery Place, but alas, I'm somewhat broke!

I have a nasty cold!  It started as a head cold with sinus pressure that felt like my head was going to burst, but now it's moved into my chest as a cough that is making me lose my voice (though some may view that as a good thing...) ;)  It's not fun, especially since it's a dry cough that makes my chest hurt whenever I cough.  I got it from the kids, and I know this because Sunshine was hacking up a lung last week, and was all in my face with hugs and kisses (I'm NOT complaining!)...  Vitamin C and Mucinex is the name of the game, along with massive hand-washing!  I hope I feel better soon, I hate being kept up late from hacking!

That's all I have for now!  Again, my blog is now considered "under construction" until I can get a decent theme!

Just over 5 months until I become Mrs. Phifer!!!

Little Man can pull up!

Little Man pulled up for the first time, today!!!  He was sitting on the floor, beside/under the coffee, and was reaching for one of his toys that I had strategically placed, and used both arms to pull himself from sitting to almost standing!  He began to move one leg to give himself more support, but fell back on his bottom.  He spent the next 20 minutes between the couch and the coffee table, trying to pull himself up again, but then decided to climb up my legs instead.  I pulled him onto the couch with me and he played on the throw pillows for the next few mins.  He was looking at me and laughing like crazy!!!  It was so cute!

I can't believe how fast he's growing.  Only 7 months old and he's crawling all over and trying to pull himself up!  He's a very happy baby when he's not hungry or sleepy and I absolutely love him!  His sister, who will now go by Sunshine (bc she's a little ray of sunshine), is also developing.  It's not as obvious as Little Man, but I can see it as the days pass.  She's got a great memory is very smart!  I love to sit and read to her, though she knows many of her books by heart.  She is also full of wonder - asking, "why" for EVERYTHING!  It can get annoying, but I try to remember that she is only 2 (almost 3) and wants to learn about why or why not something does or does not occur.  I just adore her!

Travis and I want Sunshine to be in our wedding.  It looks like I'm going to have 3 flower girls, which will be interesting!  I'm not too worried.  As of tomorrow (Tuesday), we will officially have our reception site booked!  I'm way excited!!!  Let the planning begin!!!!!

Daddy's Wedding Gifts

I think Daddy was manipulating the Bingo cards, last night!  Yeah, we play Bingo with some of Dad's old buddies once a month :)  Anyway, the prizes were all Valentine's Day related, and there were three things I wanted:  free private dance lessons, a chocolate fondue set, and a waffle maker.  The reason for the dance lessons is that Trav doesn't want to just sway during our first dance as a married couple, and we'd been talking for a couple of weeks about taking dance lessons.  Before Bingo started, the lady calling the numbers made an announcement to "congratulate Travis and Jessica on their recent engagement."  We stood up and had a quick kiss before we sat back down.  Oh, and I got my ring last night, as well!!!

So bingo started, and I had my eye on the three prizes... Well, guess what... TRAVIS WON THE DANCE LESSONS!  We got 5 free private lessons :)  I was way excited about that!  Then I won the chocolate fondue set!  We didn't get the waffle maker, but I wasn't too sad about that :)

At about 5:30 this morning, I woke up to a thunderstorm!  I was very happy about that :)

I think Daddy decided to show us how happy he was :) and I'm so glad he did :)

So here I am, looking at my beautiful diamond on my hand, thankful for all I've been blessed with!!!

The date is set!!!

On July 23, 2011, Travis and I will be getting married!!!!!  We will wed at our church, then head to a hotel near my house for the reception.

I think Travis and I may walk to the columbarium (at the church) and take a moment to visit my Dad's niche and talk to him.  It will be difficult not having my Daddy or Nonnie at the wedding, but with Travis by my side, I will get through it!

There isn't much time between now and July 23, but we are ready to meet the challenge so we can start our life together as husband and wife!  I am the luckiest girl on earth!

As far as a honeymoon goes, we aren't planning on going out of country yet.  We are thinking of driving to someplace on the coast to spend a week.  I'm hoping for Charleston, SC.  I haven't been there since I was 17, and I miss it!!!

I'll certainly be documenting the planning on here... it will be fun to look back and see the days that led up to our big day!

We have a date!

We have a date for our wedding!  Mom, Travis, and I will be touring a possible reception spot tomorrow morning, and once we book a place, I'll announce it on here :)

WE'RE GETTING CLOSE!!!!!!!!

Booking Places

Booking a site for our reception is a tad difficult!  I wanted to have the wedding and reception on one date, but the Country Club can't do it until another date (only two weeks after my original date).  My church and the country club are available that day, so all I have to do is get my minister's sign off that he can marry us on the date, then book the church and country club, and the hard part will be OVER!

I just booked a photographer (the same lovely lady who did the pro-shots of me and Trav last spring).  She will do our engagement pictures, as well as wedding day shots.  I'm beyond excited!!!

I met with our wedding planner (aka: my future sister-in-law) on Saturday, and we discussed finding reception sites.  We also talked about a color scheme and flowers.  I was flat out exhausted on Saturday, though, so I wasn't much help.

Last week was the first full week of work and school.  I got up at around 7:30am everyday, and just kept going going going!  I ended up skipping church because I NEEDED to sleep in.  I'm going to try some new techniques to help me go to bed earlier so I can be a bit more rested each day.

I currently have the adorable 2 year old beside me, which makes me smile.  She is just a big ray of sunshine!  It's hard to believe she will be 3 in a couple of months!!!

Ok, I lost my train of thought... I'll just say, "bye" for now...!!!

Procrastination

This is me procrastinating.  I have to finish an assignment for class tonight, but I can't stop thinking about my wedding!  Travis and I are thisclose to having a date set!  I booked the church, yesterday, for our preferred date, but now we have to reserve a rehearsal dinner place and reception location.  Once those two are set, we will announce our wedding date!

I sat down with Trav and my Mama, last night, to discuss wedding things, and we ended up talking for over an hour!  I have "homework" to do before I meet up with my future sister-in-law, who will be our wedding planner.  I have some ideas of how I want the wedding to be, so I'm making lists of ideas!

I began walking again, yesterday.  I put Little Man in his stroller and walked for about 30 minutes.  When I got back, I did sit-ups while holding him up so it gave the illusion of him flying, which made him giggle.  I also lifted him up over my head, which gave my arms a good "bench press"-type workout!  I'm embarrassed to admit that I am quite sore today!

It looks like Travis may be getting a job!  I don't want to go into details, but let's just say that I am so happy for him!  It also means we are READY to begin our lives together as a duel-income family.  We have talked about staying with my mom for a couple of months while we save money to buy our own place.  I certainly don't want to stay with my mom for long, but I'm just happy to know we have somewhere to begin!

I feel so lucky to have an amazing fiance (I LOVE saying that!) and supportive mom.  My life has never been better!  I do miss Daddy, but I know he's smiling on me and will be on the other side of me when I walk down the isle with my uncle.

Guests

I guess my blog is going to serve as a place for me to document planning my wedding (though I won't go into details).

Travis and I made a rough list of guests we want to invite to our wedding.  It totaled at almost 100 people (far less than either one of us anticipated!), I went through my facebook friends list to make sure I didn't forget anyone, and tonight we'll go through his friends list so he can make sure he invites who he wants and doesn't leave anyone out.

We're actually getting close to setting a date, I'm checking with the church and my minister to see if a couple of potential dates are available.  I guess I just want to get this going!  I've been with Travis for almost four years, and it is definitely time to be his wife.

I'll update more as this goes along!

Aviation Museum!

This morning I took T and J to the Aviation Museum!  The kids loved it!!!  Well, T loved it... I don't think J knew what was going on, haha.  I even got T to run around with me and "fly away" (which consists of putting our arms out like wings and circling around saying, "fly away" over and over), which was so cute! Have I mentioned how much I adore the kids I Nanny for???  Yeah, they're the best!

Little Man (J) got baptised yesterday!  It was at the 8:30 service, and I was right there, sitting in the pew behind Catherine (T and J's mom), Chris (T and J's dad) and Cath's sister + her two sons.  I was so proud when our minister blessed J.  Travis said that I looked like a proud Aunt, haha!  I was just so happy!  Now, I hadn't seen the kids in over a week, because the family had been out of town, so after the service, I went to the nursery to see all of the munchkins.  T was at a water fountain down the hall from where I was, but as I walked closer I did my "one-finger-wave" (where I put up my pointer and wave) T came running down the hall and jumped into my arms!  I was a fantastic feeling!

It's like I tell my friends, this isn't work to me, not even a job... being a nanny is the most rewarding "job" anyone can have!  I get to watch, each day, as these two wonderful kids grow and develop!  Little Man is finally crawling, too!!!  He's getting into everything, and I can't turn my back on him at all!  I used to be able to go in the kitchen and get some water without worry, but even that can be dangerous, because I need to keep eyes on him!  He crawls slowly, for now, but I know that won't last too long, especially as he learns how to coordinate his arms and legs!


Travis and I went to lunch with our Sunday School class after church, yesterday, and they just couldn't believe that we're getting married!  One of the guys just looked at Trav, scrunched up his face and said, "you're really getting MARRIED?!"  Travis just nodded, looked at me, and said, "yep!"  As we walked from the car to the restaurant before hand, Travis noted that I have been lifting my head up more and walking with "lighter steps".  I told him it was because I'm so happy, and will probably be this way for the next few months.

Y'all, I am beyond happy.  I am going to be marrying my best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, my everything!  We have something special.  Something indescribable.  It's a love I have never experienced in my life!  I will become Mrs. Jessica Phifer... omg I love the sound of that...  (I promise I won't be calling myself by his name again until we are actually married, I just had to get it out once!!!)  It does sound good, doesn't it?!?!?!

Wedding

I'd heard that planning a wedding was difficult, but man... We've only been engaged 4 days, and I'm already feeling the strain and pressure of wedding planning!  I'm not taking it too seriously, just tossing ideas now and then, and most of them sound good in my head, but horrible when spoken!  There are only a couple of things I am completely certain: the location of the wedding and who will perform the ceremony.

For now, I'm going to make lists, jot down ideas, and wait til we can actually plan the wedding.  We have a ring, but it's just the diamond and a setting.  We plan on going to jewelry stores on Friday to find the best price for setting and sizing, so I can finally put it on my finger.  That is what I want more than anything right now.

The next "Future Mrs. Phifer"

This morning, Travis made me breakfast in bed.  When he brought it up to me, he held his hand out and it held a beautiful diamond (not a ring).  He said to me, "I don't have a ring yet, but will you marry me?" My heart leapt and all I could do was nod because my jaw was on the floor.  So it's official!  TRAVIS AND I ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a good girl!

For one of my classes, this semester, I have to get a fingerprint card, criminal background check, and a couple of other school-related items in order to participate in an internship-type assignment.  Today was filled with going to the Sheriff's office and Clerk of Courts for fingerprints and my background check.  It took all of 20 minutes for both!  I found out that, as I suspected, I'M A GOOD GIRL! hahaha... It's funny to me and Travis.  He just cracked jokes while we were out (he went with me bc I was a bit nervous going on my own).

The day began wonderfully, when my eyes popped open bc of the smell of pancakes!  I went downstairs and saw Travis cooking breakfast for me and my Mama!  It was very good and made me feel amazing.  I don't know what I did to deserve him, but he sure makes me happy :)

A friend of the family is coming to put tile down in our basement tomorrow.  It will be so nice to be able to sit down there and watch TV/play video games again.  I know Travis is ok staying in the guest bedroom, but he had his own space, before the basement flooded... twice... and it was just nice to have alone time in the evenings.  Right now it is just like the stereotypical basement, not the warm, relaxing space it was a few months ago...  *sigh*

Only a few more days until J is Baptised! I found out, today, that J had his first haircut, first swim, and first time in a swing!  The family is in Florida (luckies!), so I haven't worked all week :(  I miss the kids like crazy!!!  I'll get to see them (as well as the rest of the mom's family) on Sunday!  I do babysit for her sister's kids, who are also wonderful, and am even forming a friendship with the sister :)  I really do feel wonderful about my life right now.  I'm happy, and that is a great feeling!!!

New Laptop!

I can finally reveal that I will be able to blog more often because I just received my new MACBOOK!  It is my first big purchase made with my own money, that I earned!  (Sounds bad, I know, but it's the truth!)  I am so beyond excited!  I look forward to exploring and am happy to have a laptop again... since Travis took over my old one!  :)  So look for more blog entries!

Guilt

I thought I had moved past Dad's death, and maybe I have in every way but one.  Almost every time I am alone with Travis - watching TV or cuddling or laughing hysterically - I start to feel a huge amount of guilt.  I feel guilty that I am so damn happy with the man I will spend the rest of my life with, and mom is without Dad. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, so as I was typing this, Mom came downstairs and we started talking about Dad and I told her about my guilty feeling, and she reminded me that she had 40 years with Daddy.  She told me she feels so good when she sees how happy Travis and I are, and that I shouldn't feel so guilty about that happiness.  I feel better, but I know the feeling will still linger in the back of my mind... I just want mom to be ok... My heart is broken for her, but I know she will be ok, it will just take more time.

New Year, New Post!

Well, Happy New Year to everyone!  (If anyone even still reads this) I finally have a moment to just sit down with the laptop, which is a nice change.  I'm expecting something in the mail that will allow me to begin blogging more often!

My Christmas was pretty good.  We spent time with Trav's family, which is always entertaining.  His mom, his mom's bf, his younger brother, and sister-in-law went to the Christmas Eve service at my church and had dinner with us.  I felt like my life had come full circle when I entered the sanctuary that night.  It had been one year since my return to singing in church services.  I had Dad's necklace on, so part of him was near my heart.  I didn't get misty or anything, just felt a huge sense of love, which is always a great feeling.

Christmas day (Trav's birthday), we opened gifts, then went to visit my Aunt Glenda at the nursing home.  I love Glenda!  She is always so happy!  For those who don't know, she is my Dad's sister and is mentally retarded.  She is the most amazing person I know!  So resilient and loving... nothing seems to bring down her spirit.  Even when Dad died, she kept a smile on her face and told me everything would be alright... I never realized it until this very moment, but she is one of my heroes...  Anyway, after she opened her gifts and giggled at Travis as he made her pop wheelies in her wheelchair, we headed back to the house to get ready to travel to Chester to see Trav's cousins. It began to rain/sleet while we were there, and snow was falling when we got home later that night.

It was great to wake up to snow on the ground the next day!  Travis and I built two snowmen and then had an epic snowball fight!  It was AWESOME!  We crouched down around his truck to try and sneak up on each other, but we ran into each other instead... it was funny... we couldn't stop laughing!  By the time we came back in the house, we both had snow in places it shouldn't have been... but we were having too much fun to even care!

New Year's Eve was spent at our beach house.  Travis and I were in the living room when the ball dropped and then we dashed into mom's room to give her kisses after midnight.  (I gave her kisses, Travis just jumped on the bed and kisses Sasha).  It was nice to be able to go to the beach, since my schedule has gotten to where free time is a special occasion haha.

"Work" is going well!  J is just over 6 months now, and that boy is getting mobile!  OMG it's getting very interesting in that house... he doesn't crawl, but he'll get on all fours and rock... he tries to crawl, but I think he's decided that rolling around works just as well.  He's so beyond cute!  I just love that little man so much!  His sister, T, is on the better side of 2 years... she'll be 3 in early April.  She is a ray of sunshine!  I love taking her places, she's just so good!  We love to read books and do puzzles, we also painted a bird house to put up in the spring!  I love planning activities she can do that enriches her mind and provides entertainment, as well.  Y'all, she is just so smart!  I just love these kids so much!!!!!  I don't like calling my job "work" bc it isn't work... it's way too much fun to be work!

One of my New Year's resolutions is to walk more often, preferably four times a week.  I am able to get three days worth done while T is at preschool by taking J for a walk.  We go around the neighborhood and have also begun having play dates with another girl from my Sunday School class.  She Nannies for a 7 month old boy and lives near a park, so J and I will go over there and walk around the pond with my friend and the little one she sits for!  It's nice... and J seems to enjoy it!

I am taking more classes this semester, which is where my free time gets limited.  Because I work Monday-Thursday, my only real options for class time was Friday and Saturday... so I now have class Friday and Saturday mornings, as well as Wednesday night.  It can be a pain, and after only one week, I'm feeling the weight of sleepiness on me, but it will be just fine in the end!  :)

I did find out something AMAZING on Friday morning!  I had never gotten a chance to see what my final exam grade was for Child Guidance, so when I saw my old teacher, I asked her what is was... get this, you guys... 101!!!!!!!! I GOT A 101 ON MY CHILD GUIDANCE FINAL!  It was comprehensive, too!!!  I NAILED that class!  YEAH BABY!

I almost forgot!  On December 21, aka: my family's birthday, Mom, Trav, and I went to a service at my church.  It was called "Service of the Longest Night."  It was to give comfort to those who have lost loved ones in the past.  I lit candles for Daddy and Nonnie, and Travis lit a candle for his Father.  Mom was teary throughout the service, and Travis even got misty after he lit the candle for his dad.  I was really surprised that I didn't cry until the end of the service.  I think I felt I had to be strong for mom, but I don't know if that was it, entirely.  I think I have gotten to a place where I have accepted that my Dad is no longer here, in his physical form.  He's in my heart, and I miss him dearly, but I don't feel the ache anymore.

Well, that's all I have for now.  I'm hoping that next week, I will be able to get back to blogging more often, I'm just waiting for my package to come :)

Time

Time tends to fly by without warning.  It seems like only yesterday we said goodbye to my Daddy and my world was turned around... but now... I'm the happiest I've ever been!  I know I said this a couple of posts ago, which shows that my happiness hasn't gone anywhere!  :)  I mentioned that I had begun a Nanny job, and let me tell you that it is THE GREATEST JOB ON EARTH!... well, it's the greatest job to me.  The kids are amazing and I am having so much fun watching them grow and develop.  It feels so wonderful to know that I am helping them develop in a positive way.  As a recap, the little boy is almost 5 months old (will be 5 mos on December 3rd) and the girl is 2 and a half.  They are the most wonderful children!  I love Mondays because I get to be with the little girl all day, since she goes to my church's weekday school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursdays.  I love taking her and her brother to different places to explore new things, seeing the look on their faces when they discover new things makes me feel amazing :)  Little man has grown so much since I started working with the family... he could barely hold himself up when I first began, and now he's lifting himself up off the floor and smiling and rolling from his back to his stomach.  He's very close to being able to sit up on his own, and has recently begun eating rice cereal!  It's not an  easy task, but he's starting to get the hang of it :)

The semester is almost over, and I'm very proud of myself for getting through it by myself!  I can't tell you how good it feels to be taking charge of myself and my life.  I know what I want to do with my life, and I think that's the source of my overwhelming happiness!

Travis and I are doing very well.  We are taking on the world as a team, and his support in my desire to be a Child Psychologist is giving me all I need to persue it :)  I am so happy to have him and we look forward to a life of love, happiness, and children.  We aren't married yet, but it will happen when we're ready.

Mom is recovering nicely from her knee replacement.  It's been nearly 3 months (as of December 9th), and she does have moments of discouragement because the pain hasn't gone away as quickly as it did when she had her other knee replaced.  My theory is that her first replacement was done in the spring, and this one happened in late summer/early fall.  You know the thing about cold weather effecting joints, and I think that's what's happening here.  I hate to see mom in pain, but she is still pushing through and I am so beyond proud of her!

That's about it for now... so... BYE!

:)